| 28 October, 2010
The school Christmas production is looming on the horizon like a dark cloud and I’m being pestered to do something for it. Fortunately, it’s not a traditional production so there’s scope for magic tricks, jokes and the like. As my regular online audience, I thought that you may be interested to get a sneak preview of the joke routine that I’m putting together.
I’m planning on performing the routine with Dermott in the hope that his expert comic timing will make up for my deadpan deliveries (like an unfunny Jack Dee). Anyway, hope that you like them (and don’t blame me if you try them on your friends and end up with a dead arm!!!) and the obvious footie connection.
What part of a football pitch smells nicest ? The scenter spot !
Why aren’t football stadiums built in outer space ? Because there is no atmosphere !
What’s the chilliest ground in the premiership ? Cold Trafford !
How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle ? Somebody took a corner !
What does a footballer and a magician have in common ? Both do hat tricks !
Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar ? All of them, a crossbar can’t jump !
Why are football players never asked for dinner ? Because they’re always dribbling !
Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear ? Because he liked sole music !
London Schools 3–1 Sheffield Schools
Bridgewood High players, Charlie Oakley and Sam Smith, had the game of their lives today against Sheffield Schools. With Charlie Oakley scoring from a set-piece header and Sam Smith playing an astounding game of football, they both did Bridgewood High proud. Without the two players Sheffield would have come out on top.
Bridgewood High 2–3 Tower Bridge College
An explosive start for Bridgewood High saw them nearly score after three minutes. A piercing through ball from George Lucas split two Tower Bridge central defenders apart, leaving Aaron Jacobs space to deliver. A well-positioned full back standing on the line prevented the home side from scoring a magnificent opening goal.
Defender Timothy Houghton-Smith was left bewildered as his lightning-fast marker danced circles around him. Leaving Bridgewood’s defence and Houghton-Smith open-mouthed, the Tower Bridge winger sprinted into the penalty area, cheekily nutmegged goalkeeper Dominic Jasinski, before easily slotting the ball into the back of the net.
With some encouraging and tactical words from Bridgewood teacher Mr Mansell, Houghton-Smith was able to face the speedy winger head on. Trapping the winger between himself and the touchline, Houghton-Smith moved in with a solid, clean tackle, awarding Bridgewood a throw-in.
Demonstrating the same fluid movement they had shown in the game against St Mark’s, Bridgewood settled into the game. With midfield working well together, building a steady rhythm and good understanding, it was a three-pass move that enabled Lucas to break forward, play a one-two with Johnny Cunningham and blast a scorcher of a goal past the helpless Tower Bridge goalkeeper.
Another dramatic burst of play before the half-time whistle saw Luan Havolli make a break from the back, gliding past two players before playing a one-two with Angelo Del Paggio. A shot from twenty yards soared into the back of the net, leaving Bridgewood 2-1 up at half time.
A Tower Bridge position change at half time ensured Bridgewood’s Havolli was left trailing after the fast winger as Houghton-Smith had done. After he hit a thunderous shot that Jasinski could only parry, a Tower Bridge striker was there to slot the ball home.
With Tower Bridge’s confidence back on track, they interchanged positions, which caused confusion at the back for Bridgewood. A messy mix-up on the edge of the penalty box allowed the same tricky winger to nip in and push the ball beyond the reach of Jasinski, resulting in a 3-2 win for Tower Bridge.
| 27 October, 2010
I know that it’s a late entry, but I’m too wired to sleep! Just got back from up north after helping London Schools to dish out a devastating defeat to Sheffield Schools. The team played really well which helped me to lift my game too. Best of all, I scored a blinding header from a set piece – back of the net! If only Bridgewood could emulate the form of London Schools we’d be at the top of the league now. I’m sure that the form will come. We’re a bit like the England team – fabulous on paper and in training, but not performing to our full potential when it counts (at the moment). Anyway, I’m going to listen to some tunes to help me relax (a bit of Ibiza chillout is in order me thinks) before bed. Night, night … C
Bridgewood High FC move off the bottom of the league with a well-earned victory over St Mark’s Academy.
| 21 October, 2010
St Mark’s Academy 2–3 Bridgewood High FC
Bridgewood delivered a football masterclass to gain their first win in the league.
Angelo Del Paggio put Bridgewood in front after only five minutes. Houghton-Smith exchanged quick passes with Chalabi and Cork before cutting the ball back for Paggio to smash it into the net.
Such was the quality of the Bridgewood play, they could have taken the lead before then. With only one minute gone, Erbakan burst past three St Mark’s players and tested the keeper with a rasping shot to the corner of the goal. It was a taste of things to come.
The passing and movement of the Bridgewood players was a sight to behold, and they didn’t have to wait long for their second goal. A brilliant six-pass move involving Erbakan, Chalabi and Lucas created acres of space for Duong, who chipped the ball over the despairing St Mark’s keeper.
The inevitable third goal came on the stroke of half-time. After a quick exchange of passes between Kumble and Paggio, Kumble crossed the ball onto the head of the imperious Cork, who powered the ball into the net off the underside of the bar.
After the break, St Marks pushed more men forward in search of a goal, and they were thrown a lifeline when a misunderstanding in the Bridgewood box led to an own goal by the otherwise faultless Kumble.
Sensing more goals, St Mark’s continued to press and were rewarded with a second goal when a sliced clearance by Houghton-Smith hit the crossbar and landed at the feet of a grateful St Mark’s player, who swept the ball home.
Bridgewood’s decision at half-time to remove the central defensive partnership of Smith and Oakley, in preparation for their London Schools game next week, seemed like it would prove a costly one, as St Mark’s layed siege to the Bridgewood goal.
Fortunately, Bridgewood had the strength of character to hang on to record their first victory of the season.
| 18 October, 2010
Just a quick blog entry today to tell everyone that a Bridgewood High FC ‘Design a mascot’ competition is now on the competition tab on the homepage. Myself, Angleo and the rest of the lads will be judging the entries and there are some cool prizes for the five winning entries. Angelo is still gutted that Bridgewood players can’t enter – he’s desperate to get his hands on the new time traveller book that’s in the goody bag! Best C …